Akatsuki Moments: The Pink Streak
by Killer-San
Summary: Hidan's smoking, Deidara's gazing at the stars, Kakuzu's sippin' coffee then bam! A 'Pink Streak' goes by, naked. Who the hell could it be? Part of the Akatsuki Moments series
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or god knows I wouldn't be writing on FFN_

_A/N: Hello, All! I just thought I would post this as a pre-Akatsuki Moments story, which is why it is apart from the Akatsuki Moments chapter set up thing because it wouldn't really fit. Please Enjoy!_

_White Zetsu_

_**Black Zetsu**_

Sakura, Lee and Naruto stood not far from what they thought was an Akatsuki hideout. Their mission was just to scout out the location, then report it to The Fifth Hokage so they could schedule an ambush. But why was their mission so.._hard? _It should have been easier for the Trio to trek through swamps and face the challenges of nature, but it hadn't been. For god sakes, ninjas. and were struggling to walk through a bog. Maybe it had been the rough training for all of them the day before; Naruto from the Sage, Sakura from the Fifth Hokage and Lee From Guy. But still, their current state was what you could call..pitiful.

The trio had their backs pressed against three trees away from the supposed lair, and they were catching their breath while devising a plan to assure that this truly was Akatsuki land. Lee seemed the worst off out of the three, wounds from the original Chunin Exams still seemed to haunt him, even though he had long forgiven Gaara-Kun.

The medic-nin brushed her fluttering pink hair out of her face and straightened her dress. This was a bad day for her, in the worst of ways. It had started out as a screaming match at her mother over the phone; then onto her standing in the rain in what once was a pretty dress waiting for Neji to show up for their date (Which he didn't show up too), Then to Naruto running at her screaming about a mission and knocking her into the mud, Then it proceeded to Sai walking by and making dirty remarks. Now the day wasn't even over and she was stuck in the middle of nowhere with her dirty dress with next to no weapons. She looked down at her torn white dress, it had a pink ribbon on it earlier. Kami knows where that went, And her dress bottom had gotten all muddy from dragging on the ground. What the fuck had been so important about this mission that it had to be carried out right away and on spot?

Her day had been..Great. Just great. And it didn't help that Naruto and Lee were optimistic as ever, making her look like a whining bitch about anything complaints that she made..

"Naruto, Lee. I believe I have an idea how to scout out the entrance to the building behind us." She whispered, while motioning wildly for the boys to come closer to her. She just wanted to get this over with, in all honesty. Sakura didn't exactly get the point of the Akatsuki at this point in time, it was only the beginning for her.

Lee was the first to walk up to her, Of course, With Naruto right behind him. But little did she know that her chest wrappings had become loose and that Lee's foot was ontop of the edge of her dress. Sakura was setting herself up for disaster and didn't even realize it.

She motioned for them to follow her to a safer location and was just about ready to run full speed to another tree when..

_Rip._

It was the ugliest noise she had ever heard.

The shreds of white clothing fell to her sides, and she stood before two boys with overly large eyes.

"What the hell was that?" Sakura turned around and her wrappings fell to the ground with her dress, oh and how she regretted that. Her cheeks, a pleasant pink, burned for about three seconds before she tore off into the trees, arms desperately trying to cover herself from the other sexes intruding eyes.

Oh yes, this day was fucking _wonderful._


	2. Chapter 2

Hidan pressed the freshly lit cigarette to his lips and blew smoke into the night air, and right into the blonde-haired man's face.

"Keep that shit to yourself, yeah." Deidara spat, coughing and waving the smoke away from him.

The smoke that surrounded Deidara's head was blown away, however, by a sudden breeze that came from the miniature fan Tobi blew around his head. You would think that Deidara would be thankful for Tobi's concern about his Senpai.

"Tobi doesn't want Deidara-Senpai to get cancer!"

"Yeah..Whatever Tobi."

Everyone was constantly annoyed by Tobi's childish behavior. Most of them wondered how the hell Zetsu even got Pain to except Tobi into the Akatsuki. He didn't act anything like the emotionless killer he should have acted like. He was like a candy coated crack baby. Without the crack, of course, because 'Tobi is a good boy and doesn't do drugs.'

The four were resting outside, Kakuzu a bit apart from the group by his lonesome on the ground, sipping at a mug of coffee. They had gotten tired of Pein's bitching about the lair's current state and went outside for a breather. It wasn't their fault Itachi got pissed off when his nail polish went missing and broke things, really. It wasn't like they had told Hidan where the nail polish was, and told him to break it.

Psssht- No.. Okay maybe.

They stood (and sat) in silence, the only really noticable sound the ruffling of the trees in the wind, and the occasional slurps from Kakuzu's coffee cup. But the silence didn't last long, Tobi's attention span was very short.

"Dei-dah-ra Shen-pie."

The artist flinched, he hated when Tobi drawled out his name like that, putting little things in his name that shouldn't even be there. God damn kid.

"What, Tobi?"

Deidara's tone was riddled with annoyace, but that didn't seem very apparent to Tobi.

"I'm bored.."

The hyper orange-masked man didn't get any other response for the longest time. Hidan only kicked at the dirt in an annoyed fashion and puffed out more smoke, instead of the normal times were he would say something rude to the boy.

"Why don't you go clean up Itachi's mess, Tobi? That would make Deidara-senpai very happy." Kakuzu muttered.

Deidara could tell that the young boy was smiling under his mask at the miser's words and he grinned inwardly at Kakuzu's cleverness. Apart of him felt bad that he was letting the miser use him like that as he watched Tobi bounce away, but then again deep down he just didn't really care anymore. It was quiet either way, and it wasn't like he was sending Tobi off to his death or anything.

So, then the trio enjoyed their 'well-earned' silence; Hidan smoking away, Kakuzu sipping at his coffee and Deidara gazing at the stars. It was calm, peaceful, uneventful. That is until, A stark naked girl ran right infront of them so fast she looked like a pink streak. But not fast enough for their curious eyes to catch a very..

Ahem, lovely view.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own crap.

Sakura skidded to stop and looked behind her, wondering who the hell she had just ran by. But what she saw probably was the rarest thing she'd ever see for the rest of her life, surpassing even seeing Gaara smile. It was possibly..the worst god damn thing she had ever seen in her life.

A strange stitch-man was choking on something, a cracked white mug at his feet while someone she recognized as Deidara had fallen over, eyes rolled back into his head. But the most comical expression she had seen, especially on an S-rank criminal's face, was a man with white hair's expression. His eyes had gotten really small, the ciggarette tilted at an angle in his mouth while he stared forward, not moving at all. Then the ciggarette fell from his lips to the ground and the man threw his hands into the air, head now tilted to the sky."

"Praise Jashin!"

Her jade eye twitched at the display as she realized who they were and who she had just run by, naked.

The Akatsuki.

_Shit._

The Pinkette ran off into the woods then, wanting to get as far away from the three she had seen as possible.. But she was sorely mistaken if she ever wanted too run away from these criminals now. They had tasted blood, and they wanted more-

WHAM!

She smacked into something hard, her breasts pressing up smack against it. Then she fell back on her ass, her head swinging in every direction. It felt like she had run into a brick wall.

"What the fuck was that?"

**_"Goodness Zetsu, We haven't seen something like this since.."_**

**"**_Please do not go there Zetsu, I do not wish to relive such a horror. I'll stick to Daisies.."_

The Medic-nin looked up at the man who resembled a venus flytrap and ran like hell back to her partners, hand over her mouth to surpress her screams.

**_"Damn, see what you did Zetsu? Men would find a naked woman in the woods a treat."_**

_"Apoligies, Zetsu."_

Their voices faded off in the distance as she forced herself off to run farther and farther away from whatever the hell that plant thing was. What the hell was she thinking, running off from her partners like that?

Oh yeah. She wasn't thinking of the fact that she'd run into Akatsuki members. She was thinking of I don't know-  
covering her chest?

This was just, fuck..

She ran off, farther into the woods, hoping to run into Naruto and Lee but she couldn't find a trace of them, anywhere. It was nerve-wracking, she was lost, and naked and cold.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, although when I sit in front of your window at night and watch you do things with yourself, I like to think so. And, by things, I mean playing Nintendo 64, because Nintendo Wii sucks._  
_o_o Go Zelda!  
Oh, and, also. I do not own the song The Streak by Ray Stevens, and thank you anonymous reviewer for giving me the idea to use the song. x3_

It was icy cold as night fell in the forest, and Sakura was having a hard time finding shelter and dry wood to make a fire. Not to mention the fact that she was still butt-ass naked, and was using leaves as a dress. She had managed to use a bit of water jutsu from a scroll she had in her leg holster to make three small leaves into three large leaves that she layered and wrapped around herself. And we were talking big, amazon leaves, at least three feet long. It was amazing what water jutsus could accomplish in plants. The only downside was the leaves ripped, ever so easily. She couldn't risk laying down with the damned things on, so sleep was out of the question.

The night progressed, and there still was no sign of Lee or Naruto. Sakura had even bothered too find the last place that she had been with them at, even the shreds of her clothing were gone. Perhaps, they had gone back. Sakura figured that it was most likely the case, although it was very un-Naruto and Lee like to leave anyone behind.

"Good grief.."

She sighed to herself, ever so softly while she stepped along the cracking twigs. The only things that seemed to want to stick onto her body today where her sandals, and even then the god damn straps were fraying and she was worried that the one on her right foot was going to break. It would seem appropriate for the circumstances today. Shoeless and naked in the god damned forest.

Oh wait, sorry.  
_Almost naked_, she still had her socks and leaves.

Echoes from deep inside the woods caught Sakura's attention, perhaps made by animals. It sounded like a large animal was wandering around just half a mile off from her. What Sakura didn't know was, whatever was out there, was definitely not an animal.

She pressed her back against a tree, and flinched as she felt the bark scrape the back of the leaves and make several small rips along the back of her makeshift dress.

"Oh, for fucks sake."

Immediately, the scuffling sounds stopped from afar and Sakura's hand clamped over her stupid, stupid mouth. Of course, the only thing that had been holding together the 'dress' where her stupid hands, and it fell down around her feet, which caused her to reach down for the damn thing in a fit of irritation and start cursing again.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Within seconds, she found herself cornered and pinned against the bark, without her special 'dressings' between whoever the hell had pinned her and her body. A sharp intake of breath was the only time she wasted, before jerking her head up angerly to ask just who the fuck had thrown her back into the tree.

"I'm going to have fucking cuts in my back now, ass hole."

She spoke too soon, and as the last insult sprung from behind her lips she found herself face to face with Deidara himself. He didn't seem phased by her foul language, however, and only looked down between them to her feet where he was stepping upon two, very large leaves.

"Having salad there, Streak?"

She cocked her head, having to take a moment before she understood what he was talking about. The next thing that she understood, though, caused a bigger reaction from the girl.

"Okay, can you, get the fuck off? I'm sort of, Oh..I don't know..naked?"

There was only an amused expression from the blond haired man, and he locked eyes with her for something that felt about ten minutes before actually doing or saying anything.

"I suppose.."

He stepped away from her, but not far enough that it would give her a chance to escape. He recognized who she was, who could forget? She had killed his Danna, and taught the old pupper master a rather well-learned lesson.

Art doesn't last forever, it's an explosion, bitch.

He smirked down at her unsettled expression, totally in his 'oh fuck I'm awesome because I'm standing over a naked chick' mood, and 'studied' her. He was trying not to look like he was starting at her chest.

"I..uhm.."

He brought his eyes back up to hers, and "yeah"ed before pulling off his cloak and draping it around her shoulders. Being shocked at the rather kind motion, it took her a moment to register that Deidara of the Akatsuki had really just gave her his cloak. It took her another moment to register that he had stared at her for several moments before offering her some coverage.

"You're welcome, yeah."

And then he stepped to the side, just as Sakura was zipping up the cloak to see the same other men who had seen her naked before. Oh, this was just beautiful. She wasn't even given enough time to slap the fuck out of Deidara, yet. Now she had to deal with two other men that apparently wanted a look too.

"Well, then that's a fine bitch. Why aren't you naked, now?"

The silver haired man who had exclaimed "Praise Jashin" into the sky earlier approached, licking his lips and looking her up and down like prey. It was making her ever so much more nervous. She was hugging the cloak closer now, and darting her eyes from left to right, trying to find a way to escape. Only now she was beginning to understand what she had really gotten herself into for the moment. This was bad. Really, really, bad. She had forgotten to shut off the stove at her house..

"Well, I asked you a question, and you're not really in any position too deny m-"

Sakura, not really listening went off on an inner rant about the house possibly burning down while she was gone, or her electric bill going up because she had left her ligh-

_Shit._ She had left all the lights on in her apartment, too.

"And you better-"

Just as the Jashinist was about to finish his sentence, however, he was cut off by a very loud and annoying man who bounded up to his side in the woods, throwing his hands above his head like a child might who was..excited? This was odd, definitely odd because he wore the same garb as these other more intense and serious men. Ever odder so, Sakura didn't really notice that f_our fucking Akatsuki members_ were circling her now, and she still ranted off to herself about the electric bill.

"Oh my gosh, Hidan-Sama. Tobi has an idea, Tobi has an _idea_."

"Yeah, don't get so excited there kid. I don't think that you'll be getting anymore of those any time soon.."

The self proclaimed 'Tobi' turned towards Sakura, and jumped up, ever so happy as he was taking Hidan's response as a go ahead along with his 'idea.'

"We should let the Streak join!"

Hidan and Deidara gave Tobi a sort of 'what the fuck, where did that come from?' look, but didn't have much chance to say anything considering Kakuzu came up behind them with shark-dude, (Kisame,) singing at the top of their lungs.

"Here she comes, Boogity, Boogity. There she goes, Boogity, Boogity. And she ain't wearin' no clothes!" They yelled in unison, which was sort of annoying and completely out of character for the situation.. but, what the hell. Right?

"Oh, yes, they call her the Streak. Boogity, Boogity! Fastest thing on two feet. Boogity, Boogity! She's just as proud as she can be, of her anatomy, she goin' to give us a peek!"

Tobi, completely not getting the aspect of the song joined in with Kisame, and Kakuzu, sake in hand and started bellowing out the notes in an off-key way that was just .. ear bludgeoning.

"Oh, yes, they call her the Streak. Look at that, look at that! She likes to show off her physique. Look at that, look at that! If there's an audience to be found, she'll be streakin' around.. Invitin' public critique!"

Apparently, The Streak was Sakura's new nickname to these men.. and that was just delightful. She passed them all a dirty look, her emerald eyes afire with a killer instinct that would scare the shit out of Pain himself if he had been there. And, eventually, after a long moment of glares and Kakuzu's horrible singing, she found herself being walked back to 'the base' with the promises of a nice place in the Akatsuki. (If she continued wandering around naked, of course.)

Definitely, a what the hell moment, but she liked it. Lee and Naruto had ditched her here anyway, plus if she went back she would have to pay a killer electric bill and/or finance a burning house and who knew joining the Akatsuki was so easy compared to that? You just had to run around naked to get in. Boobs was the way that men and women seemed to communicate these days..

But, she wouldn't find out how humilating it was to join the Akatsuki until later, when she had to have sex with a stuffed elmo doll while Kisame watched, with his finding nemo doll for initiation.  
Then, after her initiation, she wouldn't find out how pissed she could get after learning that fucking the elmo doll was something that she erm..(cough cough) didn't have to do.

For now, however, she found that her day was the best that she'd had in a very, long time.

;-;

The end.


End file.
